I feel like it was yesterday when this story has started. When I look back, even just for a second, I remember so clearly my arrival: I was entering a room which wasn’t giving me any warmness at all. But right now, when it’s time for me to leave, the same room is giving me so much warmness and it became so close to my heart, that it is so hard for me to leave it behind.
Even if it all seems like a glance, this year was one full of experiences: there was time for finding and for losing, time for new challenges and opportunities. It was a perfect opportunity to throw away all the bad habits and focus on what we really like and what is giving us development.
I am so glad that I had the chance to work with the FITT organization for a year because the new knowledge we got also depended on the support of the organization.
I learned a lot both from a professional and personal way of perspective. I am so thankful because right now I know much better how to understand and appreciate the value of everything: the job that I am doing, the time that I have, the opportunities that I receive, and the people that are surrounding us.
I hope I will have the opportunity to share with you another experience story of mine, but until that, just enjoy and get motivated from this story.
Sometimes I happen to get overwhelmed by great positive energy and motivation when I get in and start looking for work, I send cv to all the jobs I think fit my skills. I always look forward to an answer and when I see someone answering me I’m happy, I always tell myself that this is the right time, but not because here it is the classic human, perverted and unscrupulous case that contact you. When I see these people I always say ′′ Come on it doesn’t matter, it’s still looking “, but honestly after the umpteenth C ** and who writes you to satisfy their personal needs, I felt the disgust of looking for anything. It seems absurd to me that people like this are still circulating in the social media world today because they turn a simple search into something indescribable making you feel LIKE SHIT even if it’s not your fault. I can’t believe that a woman can’t do anything and that she always has to run into guys like this, that every time she has to go out she has to look at how she is dressed or pay attention to where she goes. It’s also crazy that people especially women say ′′ you have to be careful ′′ or ′′ uh, you know how many times this has happened to me?”, but why do you think it’s normal for things like this to happen to us? Not me honestly. In the end, the authorities don’t do anything for us not caring about what we suffer both psychologically and physically. I’m so tired of running into people like this every time, without being able to do things carefree, who knows if one day this will all end and we Women will have the chance to be free as it should be.
“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence” – Aristotle
There was a boy, whose family was very wealthy. One day his father took him on a trip to the country, where he aimed to show his son, how poor people live. So they arrived to a farm of a very poor family, as he considered. They spent there several days. On their return, the father asked his son, did he like the trip.
„Oh, it was great, dad” – the boy replied. „Did you notice how poor people live?” „Yeah, I did“- said the boy. The father asked his son to tell in more details about his impressions from their trip“.
„Well, we have only one dog, and they have four of them. In our garden, there is a pool, while they have a river that has no end. We‘ve got expensive lanterns, but they have stars above their heads at night. We have the patio, and they have the whole horizon. We have only a small piece of land, while they have endless fields. We buy food, but they grow it. We have a high fence for protection of our property, and they don‘t need it, as their friends protect them.”
The father was stunned. He could not say a word.
Then the boy added: „Thank you, dad, for letting me see how poor we are.”
This story shows that the true wealth as well as happiness is not measured by materials things. Love, friendship and freedom are far more valuable.
I’m trying to remind myself that it’s okay to make mistakes.
in fact, I think I should make more mistakes.
if anything, I think it’s a mistake sometimes to be so guarded and being too afraid to make a mistake.
I would be more productive if I just went ahead and make a move. and keep looking forward regardless if I did it wrong or right.
if I fuck up enough times, I’d get there eventually.
or at least I’d definitely get closer than if I were to repeatedly second guess myself.
for one, I think I’ve been overthinking this polaroid idea recently.
I think too much about what I should print and what I should write on it. which contradicts the whole idea of why I’m even doing it in the first place.
which is to document.
so I went ahead and picked a quick picture that I feel is somewhat good enough and just printed it.
1. been drinking a lot of iced vanilla lattes lately
2. I haven’t been feeling very motivated to work lately. I need to work on it
3. I need a change of environment so badly. but the pandemic is still bad so I might be stuck here for awhile longer
4. I can’t control what happens but I can control how I react. I’ll suck it up and try to focus on work as much as I can until the situation gets better. then I will leave and catch a break
5. I have a good feeling about the second half of 2020. I think things will be better
Nothing is possible in life… Even we think in this way… I was planned to have a workshop in my Youth Center. This was the first time, that I should have, it was so exciting but at the same time, I was so confused. Why I was excited because I was going to meet new people, to have new communication with the community, to get new experience in facilitating. And at the same time, I was confused, because this was my first organized activity in this country, city and I didn’t know how to call people, bring them to the youth center and because of this, I had a fear that I won’t have even one participant. Somehow I was right, and somehow I was wrong. Because I didn’t have a lot of participants, but at least I had one participant, who was such a good, communicative and smart person. I didn’t my session with her, which was about sustainable development goals.I did some nice and helpful activities for her, she gets new information, and from both sides, we enjoyed the workshop. This was not only something for me that I could get a piece of knowledge and experience, but also this was a challenge on how to solve the problem, how to control my emotions even it looks impossible. Now I am looking forward to future plans and new achievements.
I had an impulse moment yesterday to write on my laptop. and I did it.
the permanent marker was sitting right in front of me when I was using my laptop. the urge to want to write something on it was strong.
so I wrote down the first quote that came to my mind.
it is also a quote I hold onto dearly as a reminder to myself.
growing up, I was never handed anything. whatever I wanted, I had to create it for myself.
that wired me into this person – where I always felt like if I don’t do something I wanted, no one else would do it for me.
on one hand, I’m terrible at relying on other people. which is one thing I’m trying to work on.
on the other hand, I personally feel responsible for anything that happens in my life. having this mindset motivated me to do a lot of things myself. because if not me, then who?
I still have a long long way to go. and it is up to me to create whatever I want to happen in my future.
I don’t remember how I came up with the name. but it was something I needed at that time. and “inspire me” became my blog title.
it’s funny how here we are, over a decade later. and I can still resonate with something I wrote when I was 14.
inspire me.
this is something I still need a lot. funnily enough, I think the older I get, the more I crave for it.
I want to feel inspired. I want to meet people who are doing more. I want to do more. I want to be more.
I will always be thankful to the people who inspired me to be more at a time where I didn’t know it was possible for me to amount to anything significant.
inspiration for me comes from a lot of places. people around me. my environment. the content I consume. strangers on the internet.
I think deep down we all know that we are capable of more. but we don’t always believe it.
and I think this is where being inspired will bring you the magic you need in your life.
I’ve spent a huge part of my life living in the future. thinking about how it will be better once “this” moment is over.
And then it becomes “this” moment after “this” moment. it can always get better and I just keep living in the future. Hoping that one day I can be content.
I don’t know if this is a good or a bad thing. It just is.
I try what I could to find contentment in the present. But it doesn’t deny the fact that I still badly wanted the future to come.
My theory is that if you keep moving from one “future” to another “future”, eventually you come to a point in the future where it’s the version you want.
Well or at least until you fuck it up and things suck again and the cycle repeats.
I think sometimes people forget about that. but there is still a pandemic going on.
It has been almost 5 months (?) since the massive outbreak.
I remember starting 2020 in January very positive and optimistic and travelling.
and in less than a month, I had to go home because of the outbreak. and then I had to stay at home and temporarily cease all my plans.
fast forward to June, I’ve been spending most of my 2020 literally just being in my room.
it is now June and while I think the situation has eased a little in some countries, the total amount of cases in the world have been increasing rapidly.
and it is still increasing….
I feel like recent events have taken the focus away from the pandemic and there is this false illusion I get from some people that things are seemingly “back to normal”?? when the pandemic is still very much real and has not gotten any better.
so I thought I just wanted to make a post, Blog and write it down. that there is still a pandemic going on.
